The FDA Just Approved Dads Resting Their Eyes For a Few Minutes: Here’s What You Need to Know

Coming off a pretty loaded Sunday, the FDA recently approved Dads laying on the living room couch and closing their eyes for a little bit. This breakthrough was unexpected despite multiple Sundays resulting in this behavior. Here are the answers we have so far:

Are Dads sleeping?

No. This is not sleep. If Dads wanted sleep, they would feel comfortable saying that. This is just giving the eyeballs a rest.

Does this mean that Dads are awake?

It’s more important to understand that Dads are resting. If you understand that Dads are resting, the question of “sleeping versus awake” becomes irrelevant. Just behave as you would to a person who is resting. Go outside.

What does “a Few” mean?

The concern here is giving a real number. Because what are you going to do? Are you going to sit next to Dads and count down the time? Just let Dads rest their ojos for a few.

Will Dads be available after they rest their eyes?

They don’t know. They don’t know.

If a ball gets stuck in the tree during the resting, can the resting be stopped so Dads can retrieve the ball?

It’s important to remember that even before this FDA announcement, no one should have been playing with the ball near that tree.

What if the ball is already stuck?

What? Oh, for Christ’s sake.

What if Moms say that Dads have to go get the ball?

Did they say that?

Yes.

If Dads get this ball, this is the last time they are getting this ball. If this ball goes up in that tree again…just stay away from the tree, ok? Jesus.