Best Diving Boards for When You Scrooge McDuck into Your Four Government Issued COVID TestsBefore I get into the diving boards, let me say this: life is pretty fucking PIMP right now, huh? Little over 600 days of a pandemic and we…Jan 28, 2022Jan 28, 2022
The FDA Just Approved Dads Resting Their Eyes For a Few Minutes: Here’s What You Need to KnowComing off a pretty loaded Sunday, the FDA recently approved Dads laying on the living room couch and closing their eyes for a little bit…Aug 27, 2021Aug 27, 2021
Your Vaccination Policy is Anti-Inclusive Because You are Excluding Me, a MoronYou know, except for Facebook, Nextdoor and my mouth, I’ve kept pretty quiet about COVID vaccinations. But not ANY longer. Your…Aug 20, 2021Aug 20, 2021
My Favorite BirdSince we’ve been in lockdown, I’ve unfolded the same slip-n-slide every day for my terrible son. I unfold the slip-n-slide so he can be…Aug 16, 2021Aug 16, 2021
Debut Novel — Greg Maxwell’s Inferno is Available for Purchase!!!Hi everyone! I’m excited to announce that my novel is in stores (mainly Amazon) today.Aug 7, 2021Aug 7, 2021
Oh No: I’m Ted Cruz, and My Two Teenage Daughters Want Me to Smoke Marijuana and I Don’t Know What…I’m in deep trouble, Texas. My daughters called me earlier this morning with big news: their parents were going out of town for the…Feb 26, 2021Feb 26, 2021
Four Beads: My Brief Tenure In Indian GuidesI did not do Boy Scouts. I had no interest. All the kids at my school who did Boy Scouts were bad at recess football and when you are in…Jan 2, 20201Jan 2, 20201
Published inSlackjawNavigating Your Sex Scene With Gary SiniseHey, movie star! Oh my god, totally kidding. You are a working actor, at best. Big day: you and Gary Sinise are going to pretend to have…Apr 2, 2019Apr 2, 2019
Jeb Bush Still Thinks He Can Win 2016 Presidential PrimaryJanuary 19th, 2019. Blackfoot, Idaho.Mar 10, 2019Mar 10, 2019
Published inSlackjawI Played Tony Hawk in S-K-A-T-E and His First Trick Was Having Sex With My MomWow, I thought Tony Hawk was my hero but, based on what comes next, I’m not so sure anymore!Feb 26, 20191Feb 26, 20191
